LCC bowling champs decided on April 1
By Harry Look
The Lookout Adviser
Members of the LCC Bowling League gathered at 6 a.m. on April 1 for the league championship match at The Space Time Bowling Center in Lansing.
The championship match pitted the Tin and Panic team against the Rolling Stones. Due to the coronavirus, both teams were required to provide their own protective gear.
Tin and Panic chose to wear spacesuits, which they borrowed from the LCC Aeronautics Class.
The Rolling Stones, who did not have access to spacesuits, promised to hold their breathes when they bowled, and to run outside between turns. Team captain Dandelion Lowly was the lone Stone with real protection, wearing a makeshift helmet made from an old gumball machine and some duct tape.
Tin and Panic won the first game, thanks mainly to a 213 game from team captain Bill Nutmeg. Teammate Kelley Goofoff also made a strong contribution with a 173 game.
In the second game, the Rolling Stones earned the victory. The squad was fueled by a 180 game by captain Lowly. Tony Rodabull also came through for the team with a 155 game, despite nine gutter balls.
This sent the match to the third and deciding game. The Rolling Stones jumped out to a big lead in this battle. However, an aggressive strike by the Stones’ Dan Shrub went through the back wall of the bowling alley, delaying the game for half an hour, and interrupting the Stones’ momentum.
After play resumed in the seventh frame, Joe Curse and Ryan Goofoff of Tin and Panic each threw five strikes in a row. This brought their team back into a deadlock heading to the final frame of the match.
It came down to a battle of the anchormen: Nutmeg for Tin and Panic, and Orestes Maverick for The Rolling Stones.
Maverick went first and got nine pins, then missed his chance for a spare. Nutmeg needed a mark to win the match, and the league championship.
Nutmeg threw an eight count on his first ball. He needed a spare to win.
As Nutmeg prepared to throw his final ball, everyone held their breathes, especially the Rolling Stones, who did not have spacesuits.
Just as Nutmeg reached the foul line and was about to deliver his potentially winning shot, he was tackled from behind by Maverick. The ball fell out of Nutmeg’s hand and rolled slowly into the gutter.
Nutmeg cried out that he had been fouled, and that his team should be awarded the victory.
But Maverick, a history teacher who had always wanted to teach poetry, jumped up and shouted at the top of his lungs:
“It’s April Fools; there are no rules;
So we prevail, and you guys fail.”
Despite the less-than-sportsmanlike move, the Rolling Stones were awarded the victory. They were presented with autographed photos of Bent Kite, the president of LCC. The presentation was made by League Treasurer Evelynlyn Lynnlynn.